Monday, May 23, 2011

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Griff's rules for well run chat room

The following are principle for running a chat room as I think it should be run. At Erotic Sex Chat a user can create a room. The user who creates the room can then “kick” other users from the room.

When rooms are open to all comers, they risk getting overwhelmed by participants who are either inarticulate (low verbal skills) or the conversation gets dumbed-down because it's scrolling so quickly*. See below the break for the ten rules.

cybersex vs. camming vs. cybershow

As used by the media "cybersex" seems to include a bunch of stuff that is not "cybersex" in my thinking. Below is what I believe to the correct words and definitions.

cybersex n. (to cyber v.) - chatting online via text when the subject is sex. If Person A is getting aroused chatting to Person B, but B is not getting aroused it is possible for A to have cybersex with B without B having cybersex with A. One does not need to masturbate while chatting.
to cam - when one or more of the people chatting is appearing on a webcam, this is most properly called "camming". My preference would be that "camming" be used when the activity is not done for money or supervised by a third party.
cybershow (cyber peep show) - when the performer is paid to give a show, this is most accurately described as a cybershow.

meeting a guy who found inspiration on Griff's Cybersex Blog

Yesterday while chatting on Erotic Sex Chat, I ran into a guy running a room for humiliation and the like. He had clearly posted that he only welcomed women, but the other rooms weren't working for me.

I went into the room and introduced myself. He asked me if I was "THE griff". He not only knew about Griff's Cybersex Blog and enjoyed it, but he had found some inspiration and was getting more from his online sex life.

We never know all the people we touch in life.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

how much of a priority is fidelity? difference between theory & practice

I saw this single's ad and wanted to comment on it.
Successful, sexy woman seeks guy who will first-and-foremost be faithful for life. It would be nice if you were witty, handsome and a good dancer. But I'm willing to sacrifice those things for perfect fidelity and being reasonably considerate.

In fact, I would prefer a guy who works at a large bureaucracy (corporate or government) where he is closely supervised and any travel infrequent (I will accompany on business trips). Money and social status are not particularly important. I've got those bases covered. Your job will be to be supportive when I need it and to be my lifetime sex partner.
I confess. I lied. I made up the advertisement to make a point. See below.

Sensory only sex: kissing a machine

I once read a Myers-Briggs analysis of different sexual types and styles. Myers-Briggs Type Indicators measure personality on four axes. One use is to reduce conflict and improve communication by showing people how to best communicate with different personality types.

The sexual types and styles are influenced by the first two axes. The first axes is extrovert(E)-introvert(I). Lesson: extroverts like to take during sex; introverts don't.

The second axis is sensor(S)-intuitive(N). Sensors are focused on the five senses experience of sex. Intuitives are focused on the situation, context and what's happening in the mind.

Below the break is an example of a strictly sensory approach to sex. Some Japanese researchers are developing a computer peripheral that will be able to observe a kiss in one place and then reproduce it in another place.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Traci's parents disapprove of the guys she dates

So, within 20 minutes of chatting her she agreed to send me a pic of her tits. And she thanked me for posting it.

chat session: woman poses as Dominant Old Guy to cyber "submissive f, 22"

Earlier, I addressed the issue of guys posing as women. Below is a chat where a woman took the identity "Dominant Old Guy" which I've abbreviated "D.O.G." and chats with a woman whose screen name has been changed.

The phenomenon of a woman assuming a male identity to experience sex as a man reminded me of the Ruth Nestvold (Wikipedia) short story "Exit Before Saving" (included in the anthology Science Fiction: The Best of the Year, 2007 Edition, edited by Rich Horton).

In the story, Mallory, the protagonist, works in industrial espionage. Her company has a machine that can transform her temporarily into the appearance of another person so she can break into other corporate offices surreptitiously. But she uses the technology recreationally to go out and pick-up women for sex in the body of a man.

You can see how D.O.G. did below the break.

men posing as women in sex chat rooms and other deceptions

On the one hand, if the person you're chatting with shares the same fantasy as you and s/he is holding up her/his end of the chat, what difference does it make if it's a man, woman or artificial intelligence machine? (The Turing test is the name given to a test where the person administering the test is supposed to distinguish between a human and a computer by asking questions and receiving written responses.)

On the other hand, it sucks to think you have some basis for connection and then to find out you've been played. See more and a couple tricks for detecting fakers and posers, below the break.

creating a survey for people who chat about sex and have cybersex

One of the missions of Griff's Cybersex Blog is to improve the quality of cybersex.

Below I'm going to begin discussion of a research project. But I would like my readers to make suggestions about things they'd like researched.

Traditional media (e.g. print and broadcast) has one central place of producing content and then the whole audience gets the same content. The web allows not only communication back to the person producing content, but communication between the consumers. Members of the audience can engage each other directly, and if people are capable of learning, make each other more knowledgeable.

I would like to survey women who chat about sex online about what makes a good screen name.

But maybe I should start by getting data about who is chatting online about sex. What questions should be asked?

1. Gender
2. Age
3. Relationship status
4. How long have you been chatting online?
5. How frequently do you chat? How many hours a week?
6. What role does chatting online play in your sex life?
7. Where do you live?
8. Where did you live when you were 14-18?
9. What is your Myers-Briggs personality type?
10. Has chatting online interfered with your professional life? Your other hobbies and interests? Your social life, including family life?
11. What is the longest relationship you've maintained online?

Leave suggestions for questions in the comments.

"chat transcript erotic" vs. "transcript chat erotic"

If one does a Google search for "chat transcript erotic" Griff's Cybersex Blog comes up number #2. The Google search for "transcript chat erotic" has Griff's Cybersex Blog at #8. But "erotic chat transcript" has Griff's Cybersex Blog at #1.

I didn't know the order of the terms made a difference to Google.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

if you aspire to be good at writing, you need to read

A brief rant: sometimes my screen name leaves it ambiguous as to whether I'm male or female. When a guy hits on me in a clumsy way, I send him to Griff's Cybersex Blog. I figure the guy might learn something. He might find something entertaining. And maybe he'll be impressed by my.

This one guy, don't remember his screen name, said something like, "I don't have time to read."

Umm... if you don't have the time to read, it's pretty unlikely that your writing is going to be any good.

I'm not a great writer. I'm a serviceable blogger and in the top ten percent, maybe even top five percent at cybersex.

But guess what? I've spent significant time reading and writing in my life. If you want to get good at writing, you need to read. Steve Barnes (Wikipedia) had a good suggestion. If you're trying to get good at a type of writing, say cybersex, you should not only read erotica, but you should be reading one level above from where you intent to write.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Rochelle: "Thank you, Griff, for helping me to decide to divorce my husband"

Rochelle is deeply disappointed in her husband's sexual performance. No, it's not because he *needs* penis enlargement. The sex is too vanilla and he's just not trying.

Towards the end of the chat Rochelle said, "Thank you, Sir, for helping me to decide to divorce my husband." I suppose some might take the lesson of this chat (and this one too), as don't let the woman online unsupervised. Probably the healthier lesson is to make the effort to get the sex right in your relationship. And that means making yourself vulnerable by acknowledging to what arouses you.

I think there's something that happened earlier, because the chat starts with Rochelle giving me pictures of her tits. I'm good, but it seems like there must have been some foreplay before this.

Cybersex is the people's literature

One way to look at cybersex chats is that they are like amateur phone sex. And phone sex is about building a fantasy into a story that meets the customers needs. What's the fantasy? How much time (money)? Let's make a story.

Cybersex chats are similar.

Before radio and recorded music, people would be able to tell stories, jokes, recite poems and literature and sing.

Now, there's much less of this. Top level performers can distribute their work cheaply and easily through the Internet.

But we still have an impulse to be creative.

Cybersex chats should probably be considered collaborative storytelling. And it's one form of art that hasn't been professionalized.

Cybersex is the people's literature. People who create good cybersex chats are the modern version of the village story teller.

"It's not who you have sex with; it's who you fantasize about."

This is something I got from a gay friend.

Your sexual orientation is not determined by whom you have sex with; it's determined by whom you fantasize about having sex with.

I think my friend gained this wisdom chasing after a male prostitute who made money having sex with men. But given his druthers (and enough money to hire a prostitute himself) he decided to hire a female prostitute and rubs my friend's nose in it.

When should the media publicize an individual's sex life?

When should the media publicize an individual's sex life?

Yes, I'm going to get on my soapbox. If you're here for the tit pics or chat transcripts ... click on the links. The mission of Griff's Cybersex Blog includes covering the plight of people persecuted for their sex lives and to educate (the audience and me).


In two recent cases U.S. newspapers violated the standards of professional journalism. Both the New York Post and Houston Press decided to post stories that were titillating, but failed to advance the public's interests.

The New York Post published a story about a public school teacher, Melissa Petro, who had previously been a sex worker. The source for this scoop? Petro has written about her experience when discussing sex work. See Salon 's "The 'Hooker Teacher' tells all" by Melissa Petro.

Houston Press decided to play HOT or NOT with the female registered sex offenders from Texas' largest counties. See Daily Mail's "Newspaper sorry after its gallery of 'top 10 hottest female sex offenders' causes outrage"
.

Both the New York Post and Houston Press ran afoul the Society of Professional Journalists Code of Ethics. Yes, in theory, journalists are supposed to consider if their work is ethical.

Minimize Harm
Ethical journalists treat sources, subjects and colleagues as human beings deserving of respect.
Journalists should:
— Recognize that gathering and reporting information may cause harm or discomfort. Pursuit of the news is not a license for arrogance.
— Recognize that private people have a greater right to control information about themselves than do public officials and others who seek power, influence or attention. Only an overriding public need can justify intrusion into anyone’s privacy.
— Show good taste. Avoid pandering to lurid curiosity.
What was the overriding public need to give high profile coverage to Petro's past work as a stripper and prostitute? Or is Petro's crime her current willingness to speak up for sex workers?

What was the overriding public need to give coverage to a small group of women who were convicted of sex crimes?

This was the first attempt at defense offered by the Houston Press.
I can understand how some people might react to this. On the other hand, it's a way of getting readers to look at the info, maybe get them to realize there are people out there like this and they all don't look like the obvious stereotypical pervert.
Bullshit. To be useful, a warning has to include specific information. Saying the convicted sex offenders don't look like people in mug shots isn't news you can use.

Both these stories also include a certain amount of sexism. If a guy paid his way through college as a flunky for a bookie, it wouldn't be news that later he worked as a teacher. And the sexist angle on the Houston Press story is just obvious.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

GCB: mission statement (flexible)

Below the break is the draft mission statement of Griff's Cybersex Blog. It is an evolving document. I reserve the right to emphasize one mission in one entry and another mission in another entry.

On a related note, I reserve the right to change my temperament, views and personality as it suits me. One of the things chatting about sex makes clear to me is that humans aren't the same person all the time. I'll probably discuss this in more depth later.

I do want Griff's Cybersex Blog to evolve into a community. So, I want your feedback on the mission. What do you want to see emphasized? What area do you find dreary? What do you think is relevant that isn't part of the mission statement?

Setting goals: 10,000 hits per month by August 11

Yesterday I decided to get slightly more serious about Griff's Cybersex Blog.

I'm giving the project thirteen weeks to get up to 10,000 hits per month (2,310 in a week). According to Google's basic stat package (included when the blog was created), Griff's Cybersex Blog had 1,483 hits in the last month.

That's a factor of 6.7 increase. I will increase my posting regularity during this period. I will post three times per week: Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. In the last month, I've written eight entries*. I anticipate writing about two or three a day, so there will be somewhere between 24-39 entries per month.

The blog is going to include more stuff than my chat transcripts and pictures of tits. (However, if you want to focus on these click on the tags for "chat transcript " or "Griff bitch ".) I'll explain my vision in the next blog entry, which will be above this blog entry.

What can you do to help?

Encourage other people to read the blog.

I realize most people who participate in cybersex and who read this blog aren't going to post links here on their Facebook pages. But I suspect most of you have a list of people you chat with from time to time.

If you see an interesting blog entry, share it; discuss it.

Leave comments

Many successful blogs have interesting comments sections. Leave comments. Often the people participating in the chats read this blog. If you want to say something to them, post it in the comments.

Become a "follower"

I'm not sure how much info you get. I assume you get an email when new material goes up. And there's probably an RSS for all the blogs you follow.

Suggestions

If you have any suggestions for the blog, leave them in the comments.

* The eight entries in the last month: Chloe & the egg (picture), Share My Girl & the young wife, Lara wants to be a slut, Selena leaves her pimp, Griff is #1, Abigail's tits (picture), LaTasha the Loser and the origin of Sally the Stripper .

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Chloe's bf puts egg in her and smacks her ass till it breaks

With Chloe I got the picture and the story of her boyfriend breaking an egg inside her. For the next two weeks she was pulling egg shells out of her pussy.

See below for the transcript. And a picture of what Chloe looks like.

Share My Girl recounts crushing young wife's self esteem

This is a chat transcript between "Share My Girl" (met on Erotic Sex Chat) and me. SMG recounts arranging a swap between himself (approx. age 40) and a husband age 24. The wife reluctantly went along. And well, read the story.

"Once we got together it was very obvious his wife wasnt into it at all"
SMG: i have traveled in the past, with other females...... or to use someone else's
Griff: give me a story that you like to tell
SMG: about her or someone else?
Griff: dealer's choice.
SMG: awhile back, i had a girlfriend who i swapped some... she was more into it than some. i met a guy online who really wanted to swap his wife for her. they were young... and once we got together it was very obvious his wife wasnt into it at all... that she was only doing it because he had pushed her into it

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Lara, then: women on blog are slutty; Lara, now: I want to be on your blog

I don't do role plays very often anymore. But chatting with Lara, AnalVirginRP_20F on Erotic Sex Chat, turned into a role play.

This role play combined what Lara was looking for and some stuff from my repertoire. I hope readers find it interesting, enjoyable or erotic.

One thing that's good for my ego is that she goes from wondering why a woman would want to be on Griff's Cybersex Blog to wanting to be on the blog.