Cybersex as having the pleasure of a stolen cookie

Below I'm going to give a quote from one of the funniest guys writing novels today. It's not his funniest work, but there is a point to it.

In the debate about "Is cybersex cheating?", there seem to be two ends of the debate.

The "Yes, it's cheating," people argue in favor of perfect intimacy. If you reveal all your secrets and fantasies to your partner, you will have a perfect relationship and you will be able to experience all your fantasies within your monogamous relationship.

The "No, it's not cheating, at least not cheating with a capital 'C'," people argue that real relationships don't actually work the way the "yes, it's cheating," crowd pretend they work. Sometimes you want to do something that's nasty with someone other than your partner.

OK. To set up the quote, the book is Practical Demonkeeping by Christopher Moore (official site).

Will you forgive me...

if I post Tuesday-Thursday this week instead of Monday-Wednesday?

Griff's rules for well run chat room

The following are principle for running a chat room as I think it should be run. At Erotic Sex Chat a user can create a room. The user who creates the room can then “kick” other users from the room.

When rooms are open to all comers, they risk getting overwhelmed by participants who are either inarticulate (low verbal skills) or the conversation gets dumbed-down because it's scrolling so quickly*. See below the break for the ten rules.

cybersex vs. camming vs. cybershow

As used by the media "cybersex" seems to include a bunch of stuff that is not "cybersex" in my thinking. Below is what I believe to the correct words and definitions.

cybersex n. (to cyber v.) - chatting online via text when the subject is sex. If Person A is getting aroused chatting to Person B, but B is not getting aroused it is possible for A to have cybersex with B without B having cybersex with A. One does not need to masturbate while chatting.

to cam - when one or more of the people chatting is appearing on a webcam, this is most properly called "camming". My preference would be that "camming" be used when the activity is not done for money or supervised by a third party.

cybershow (cyber peep show) - when the performer is paid to give a show, this is most accurately described as a cybershow.

meeting a guy who found inspiration on Griff's Cybersex Blog

Yesterday while chatting on Erotic Sex Chat, I ran into a guy running a room for humiliation and the like. He had clearly posted that he only welcomed women, but the other rooms weren't working for me.

I went into the room and introduced myself. He asked me if I was "THE griff". He not only knew about Griff's Cybersex Blog and enjoyed it, but he had found some inspiration and was getting more from his online sex life.

We never know all the people we touch in life.

how much of a priority is fidelity? difference between theory & practice

I saw this single's ad and wanted to comment on it.

Successful, sexy woman seeks guy who will first-and-foremost be faithful for life. It would be nice if you were witty, handsome and a good dancer. But I'm willing to sacrifice those things for perfect fidelity and being reasonably considerate.

In fact, I would prefer a guy who works at a large bureaucracy (corporate or government) where he is closely supervised and any travel infrequent (I will accompany on business trips). Money and social status are not particularly important. I've got those bases covered. Your job will be to be supportive when I need it and to be my lifetime sex partner.

I confess. I lied. I made up the advertisement to make a point. See below.

Sensory only sex: kissing a machine

I once read a Myers-Briggs analysis of different sexual types and styles. Myers-Briggs Type Indicators measure personality on four axes. One use is to reduce conflict and improve communication by showing people how to best communicate with different personality types.

The sexual types and styles are influenced by the first two axes. The first axes is extrovert(E)-introvert(I). Lesson: extroverts like to take during sex; introverts don't.

The second axis is sensor(S)-intuitive(N). Sensors are focused on the five senses experience of sex. Intuitives are focused on the situation, context and what's happening in the mind.

Below the break is an example of a strictly sensory approach to sex. Some Japanese researchers are developing a computer peripheral that will be able to observe a kiss in one place and then reproduce it in another place.