"I felt worse than pathetic, and at the same time, I kept wanting to talk to you, Griff"

Yesterday I had a chat with Susie, who had given me a sweet tit pic back in the summer of 2012.

I'll post the earlier chats later, if there are requests in the comments.

Susie is dating an older guy, 34 years old. It's sorta working, except that he yells at her in public.

The opening. 

Griff: you avoiding me?

Susie : hello?

Griff: hey. Griff here. We met on Erotic Sex Chat. You remember me, right?

Susie : yes

Griff: how are you? how were your holidays?

Susie:they were ok im ok [if getting creepy hugs from your relatives is ok, see below]

I have a 34 y/o boyfriend

Griff: you still throwing yourself at men and getting used?

Susie : i have a boyfriend

Griff: congrats?

your age? older?

Susie : hes older

Griff: how long you been with him?

Susie : 2 months

Griff: how much older?

Susie: he's 34

Griff probes for weaknesses in the relationship

Griff: is he good to you? or are you pretty much his fuck toy?

Susie : we do have sex a lot, but we go out too

Griff: does he give a shit about the real you? or haven't you opened up to him?

Susie : what do you mean does he give a shit?

Griff: you are a young woman with some reasonably heavy issues, aren't you?

Susie : yea, but do you mean like he wants to help? or like he doesn't mind?

Griff: I'm not saying he needs to help or rescue you.

is he interested in the person behind the tits and pussy?

Susie : yes

Griff: have you revealed any of your feelings about your father? have you told him how you were raped?

Susie : he knows i was raped, not how

Griff's relationship advice: if your bitch was raped, you better know the story and get control of her thoughts and the story she tells herself, or it will mess up the relationship. If she tells you she was raped, you gotta listen to the full story.

Using the earlier chat to establish dominance

Griff: how did you feel after our chat?

Susie : not fantastic

Griff: go on

which parts stand out for you?

Susie: it was a long time ago, i cant remember

i know how you made me feel

i know i read through your blog afterwards

i'm not even sure why

i think i wanted to see other fucked up stories

Griff: did you feel like just another pathetic young woman?

Susie: i think i wanted to see other fucked up stories

i felt worse than pathetic

and at the same time i kept wanting to talk to u

“I did go back to Erotic Sex Chat [to look for you]”

Griff: was it comforting to know other women made similar mistakes?

Susie: a little

Griff: I thought I sent you an email after we chatted because I knew I did fuck you up pretty intensely

you didn't respond, so I figured you decided to avoid me

Susie: its easy to avoid you when your just an email

well easier

Griff: lol

you fantasized about me when you masturbated, didn't you?

Susie: i did go back to eroticsexchat

but i never saw you

The “raped + dumped” picture

Griff: did you keep the pic you took for me?

Susie: yes

Griff: do you look at it periodically?

Susie: yes

Griff: what does it make you think of?

Susie: it makes me think about a lot of things

Griff: such as...

top three?

Susie: its better to have a man who tells me what to do and wants me

Griff: and?

Humiliation = arousal

Susie: i feel humiliated when i look at it

Griff: does humiliation = arousal for you?

Susie: yes

Griff: explain the first point

Susie: which?

Griff: better to have a man

who tells me what to do and wants me

Susie: even tho the picture is humiliating and makes me remember everything we talked about, stuff i haven't really talked about since

Griff: which men have made you feel wanted? unwanted?

Susie: it also makes me crave more, and want to talk to you

you made me feel wanted a little

my boyfriend does too, but only recently

“I'm scared that I'm that easy to own, that you can just talk to me for an hour and I want to give myself to you”

Griff: more than any man ever has... I owned you, eh?

Susie: its really scary

Griff: you're scared of what you will do, what you will give up, eh?

Susie: im scared that im that easy to own, that you can just talk to me for an hour and i want to give myself to you

Griff: you respect me, in part, because of what I've done to other bitches like you. Eh?

Susie: yes

Susie wants to watch Griff break a bitch

Griff: you want to watch me humiliate another bitch? break her?

Susie: could i do that?

Griff: I would like to arrange it

Susie: i would like that

Griff: good

you're [location information redacted], right?

Susie:

not that [location information redacted]

Griff: do you have an excuse for a trip to [redacted]?

Susie: i was just there

Griff: lol

really? you have a good time?

“My cousin and uncle are creeps”

Susie: not really my cousin and uncle are creeps

Griff: how so?

they try to have sex with you?

Susie: they just stare and hug too long

Griff: they let you know they want it, but aren't assertive or confident to come out and ask for it, eh?

Susie: yea

“Griff, can i please be your bitch?”

Griff: you want to be my bitch again, don't you?

Susie: yes

Griff: ask for it

Susie: griff can i please be your bitch

Griff: what do you want from being my bitch?

Griff establishes the limits

how completely you want to play?

how is it going to fit into your situation with your 34 y/o bf?

Susie: i dont want to leave him

Griff: ok

I'm not going to ask you to leave him

what else?

Susie: i don't want him to find out

Griff: ok

I'm not going to leave you marked so he can find out

“You were inside my head; you predicted how I felt”

Griff: what do you want from the experience? as opposed to what do you want to avoid?

Susie: i want to feel owned like i did that day we talked

Griff: what made you feel owned? that I crushed you spirit?

made you feel worthless? helpless? pathetic?

Susie: yes

and that u were inside my head

Griff: What do you mean by saying I was in your head?

Susie: you predicted how i felt

“My boyfriend gets really jealous”

Griff: have you talked to your bf about the trip?

Susie: u mean about my uncle and cousin?

Griff: yes

Susie: no, he gets really jealous

Griff: lol

how do you feel about him getting jealous?

Susie: sometimes its scary, i wish he didnt

Griff: does it make you want to cheat?

Susie: no, it makes me afraid of cheating

Griff: like he'll get violent?

The yelling

Susie: but its his yelling

he yells at me

Griff: he yells at you? does he not have control when he gets angry?

Susie: not really

its the worst when he does it in public

Griff: he yells at you and humiliates you in public?

Susie: its just yelling

he only calls me names at home usually

and its not all the time

or for very long

Griff gives relationship advice

Griff: right. I once read a book about relationships that had a chapter about "bad news" relationship flags.

the author was a relationship counselor

and his position was that almost any relationship can be saved, if people want it to work

but he had 11 rules, flags for relationships being "bad news" and one should break up immediately.

one, was puts you down in front of your friends

two, if someone tries to control you in small ways.

they weren't the first two on the list

but they were two items.

I don't know if these apply in your case, but I would like to offer a suggestion.

I think you should tell him that yelling at you in public is unacceptable.

He is free to be angry, upset or feel any other emotion.

He is free to convey to you in an appropriate and intimate way he's feeling angry, upset or anything else.

And in private, he's free to yell at you, provided it's reasonable and appropriate

but yelling at you in public is inappropriate.

It feels humiliating on your end. And it makes him seem like he's not the kind of man able to control his temper and outbursts.

And unless he's diagnosed with Tourettes, it's something you expect men to be able to do.

Susie makes excuses for bf's bad behavior

Griff: That sound about right to you, Susie?

Susie: i have said it to him, he says hes not yelling at me hes yelling about something else in my direction

and its really not all the time

Griff: sigh, of course it's not all the time.

Susie: can we stop talking about him

Griff: the top two rules were about lying.

Susie: in the book?

Griff: "Lied about something, promised not to lie about that again and then lied about it again."

Susie: i've only been with him for 2 months

Griff: how many times has the yelling thing happened in those two months?

Susie: idk, like 5 times in public

Griff: Susie.

Susie: yes

Griff: and each time he gives the excuse it's not you he's yelling at, but something beyond you?

Susie: no that was just the one time when i talked to him about it

Griff: I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt.

he was trying to save face.

Susie: ok

Susie is hurting

Griff: has he yelled at you in public again since you talked to him?

Susie: yes

really please can we stop talking about it

Griff: yes. You're hurting, aren't you?

Susie: yes

Griff: Do you want to tell me what hurts?

Susie: no

Griff: do you want me to pull it out of you?

Susie: no please

“How come you didn't put me on the blog?”

Griff: what do you want to say to me? ask me? chat about?

Susie: how come you didn't put me on the blog?

Griff: It was pretty intense. I wanted to chat with you again before I posted it.

[further explanation redacted]

Susie: yea, that makes sense

i believe you

its obvious

Griff: you want to be mine, don't you?

Susie: yes

its your [redacted] that is so appealing i think

“I crave the nasty and degrading”

Griff: any guy can be mostly decent and I have my flaws.

Susie: like you get off on destroying women

Griff: it's the ability to be nasty and degrading during a sexual encounter

and then be decent also

Susie: i crave the nasty and degrading

Sailor gangbang planned

Griff: you'd let me pimp you to a group of sailors for a gangbang, wouldn't you?

Susie: lol, probably

i am deathly afraid of aids tho, that is the one thing that keeps me from begging homeless guys for sex

Griff: the cool thing about sailors is they all get tested for HIV when they join

Susie: really?

Griff: if they got admitted to the Navy, they didn't have HIV

Susie: cool

ok, and now i have nothing holding me back from a sailor gangbang

i woke up this morning dreaming about being gangbanged

Susie's father

Griff: how are things with your father?

Susie: i stopped really seeing him

Griff: is that a good thing?

Susie: i miss him

Griff: or is it "that's what works for you at this time"

Susie: i guess so

Griff: how do you want things to be with your father?

Susie: its why i was in [redacted] for christmas

Griff: you were avoiding your father?

Susie: yea

“I never picture myself having sex that isn't in some way degrading”

Susie: do you ever have a sexual encounter with a woman that doesn't include degradation

how often?

Griff: you picture yourself doing degradation occasionally but not every time you have sex, eh?

Susie: honestly no, i never picture myself having sex that isn't in some way degrading

Griff: look. I'm a horndog. I test a woman's boundaries and it she's not ready to go to domination and the like, I just fuck.

Susie: makes sense

Griff: you need a man who is willing to work intensely at degrading you, eh?

Susie: not always intensely

Griff: lol

Susie: sometimes just fucking me doggy style works

“I don't envy guys”

Griff: I mean he's got to work intensely at

Susie: i know

Griff: knowing what pushes your buttons

and he's got to plan in advance some

Susie: ahh

i dont envy guys

i like it because it lets me give up a lot of control

Griff: it's work to be on one's game for the same woman repeatedly

you go to work

Susie: thnks

Griff: I know I own you now.

Susie: thank you, bye griff

Griff: bye, susie

My two cents is that the relationship with the 34 y/o is doomed and Susie kinda knows it.